Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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