I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
