Me. At least after what I've been through.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
