You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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