if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize