end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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