I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
