It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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