Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
