You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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