Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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