this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
