I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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