I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
