Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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