the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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