my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize