In America we eat man semen.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
