I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
