i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
