your parents love me but you hate me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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