Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
