hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
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i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
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Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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