You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
