He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
