in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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