Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
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