I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
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You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
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When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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