I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
