Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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