Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
