atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
