so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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