I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
