is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My vagina just recognized that song.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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