More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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