Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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