I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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