oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
did you just send me my own nude
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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