Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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