im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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