He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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