I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
