Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
