I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
