Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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