i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
