Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This baby is an asshole
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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