Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
