Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
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I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
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I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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