I think im going to throw up on grandma
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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