Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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