so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
