i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
They have beer where we have blood.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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