I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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