If that was your dad, he is hot
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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