I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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