you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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