Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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