I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i wish my penis had a tongue
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
