dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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