Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
