I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
