nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
