..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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