i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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