I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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