honey bunches of taint.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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