We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
